I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
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