Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Randomize
