so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
