I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
That accounts for only three of the penises
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
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