I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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