If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Small penises have feelings too.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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