i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I need a beard to bite.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
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