trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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