so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
We're using joints as your birthday candles
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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