It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Randomize
