is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Randomize
