This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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