um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
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