we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
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