I wish I could punch you in the face.
Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
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