I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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