He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
