i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Randomize
