sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
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