It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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