I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
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