big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Randomize
