So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
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