is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
My feet surprised me
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize