Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
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