Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
