Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize