I don't usually arrange sex via text message
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Randomize
