HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Randomize
