if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
