Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
