it's too hot outside to masturbate.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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