i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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