The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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