But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Your dad touched me again.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Randomize