you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
