Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
