i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
