why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
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