took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
