I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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