This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
