Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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