please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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