Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Randomize
