whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
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