I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
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