there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Randomize