and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
