How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
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