Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
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