I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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