I can't watch pbs sober anymore
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Randomize
