just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Randomize