I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Randomize
