He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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