also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
