sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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