How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
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