Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.

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(337): View more from Louisiana

My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.

Fav 22 6015 1017
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(720): View more from Colorado

I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop

Fav 36 6304 2158
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(614): View more from Ohio

This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.

Fav 105 2270 6097
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(443): View more from Maryland

In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'

Fav 17 2495 4167
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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to

Fav 5 1223 2550
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(780): View more from Alberta, CA

i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.

Fav 7 2219 927
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(248): View more from Michigan

Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.

(313): View more from Michigan

No promises

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(604): View more from British Columbia

Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.

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