I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
