The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
