Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Swine flu. Run for my life!
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
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