every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Randomize
