I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
where am i from again
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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