I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
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