More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
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