yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
Randomize
